The work within this gallery will share a bit of insight as to how I’ve used art to develop my own practices of gratitude, grace and healing. Anything goes in this work and I’m excited to share it with you.
Many of these works will be shared daily within my INSTAGRAM feed where I microblog daily. For a look into my creative process, follow me there. I would love it if you stopped by. It’s such an inspiring, talented community of artists that are delightful to hang out with.
It all started with the Sketchbook Project in 2010.
When I converted to a new website, all my posts transitioned nicely, except for one. The one below.
At first, I thought it was a kharmic, letting go, forgive and delete moment. I panicked. But, then I softened and knew I would find it.
This post below was written seven years ago. And this expression of grief and sadness, exploded in me, setting me on a new journey toward healing, forgiveness, understanding and moving forward.
Art Heals, my friends. And, I have used art as a deep expression of emotional expression in so many ways. Here’s what happened that cracked my heartspace wide open.
The Sketchbook Project 2010
It all started with ME declaring my participation in The Sketchbook Project. How cool is THIS. I was all ready to have some fun, create some funky art and just BE. Over the moon excited to participate. I chattered about it on here and Facebook and everywhere someone would listen…
it arrived…A BLANK CANVAS…
and, I just stared at it for awhile. Days, weeks, awhile…
Then, something happened. An AWAKENING of sorts. An epiphany moment on a bright blue September, Saturday morning, early, early, early on the soccer field with my family.
I witnessed a loving MOMENT between a woman (my age) and her mother (coming to see her Granddaughter play) …and it set off a chain of events inside of me that I was not prepared for, but over the weeks that followed, I came to understand.
It was right there in that 5 minute space of time of Life’s Life, I broke down.
I knew it was time to get these feelings out…and my Sketchbook Project began (in thought). Over the next few weeks, I became BRAVE enough to express everything I was feeling through art and right in the sketchbook. I didn’t think all the emotions would rip open in me and come flooding out. I was prepared for all of it to be pushed down.
Here is the result of my journey.
So, I began with the end in mind. But, the project in my head, took a very different turn as I expressed it on the page and began to create. It ended up being a journal about healing, forgiveness and working through the layers of hurt I have pushed down, way down over 12 years since my Mother passed so suddenly in 1998.
I had no idea where it was going to take me. I just let the words come out because it WAS TIME.
I took the book apart, sewed new pages in and began to layer.
Soon, the cover took shape. I never start my design process with the COVER, but this time, I did. Not sure why. I think it help set the tone for the calm I was starting to feel.
The cover took shape. Although, the Butterfly was the last thing I placed on the book.
The book opens… Awakening. The Spaces in Between Life’s Life
I begin to document my epiphany in text that reads: (struck with grief and sadness, I wept right there on the field, bright blue Saturday, September, 2010 on the soccer field with my family. I get comfortable. I hear a women my age call for her MOM. I turn and watch. The SMILE. The HUG. The WARMTH. I watch. I listen. I feel cold. And in that five minutes of life’s life…I feel a swell from deep inside me) I handwrote everything on the page, then embedded it in layer after layer, committing it to the paper fiber only to re-write it again.
Text: …and I am overwhelmed with grief and sadness. I try to push it down like so many times before and it SWELLS back to the surface…and this time…I let it TAKE ME and I reflect on those spaces between life’s life…and how it has TRANSFORMED me…and I feel it for the first time in 12 years… SHE’s GONE. She’s really Gone.)
…and I continue to discover through words and tears on the page that what I needed to do was FORGIVE her for leaving me. I had taken her death personally and I’ve been angry that she left me. And I begin to LET GO… and it feels AMAZING.
…I end my journal, because it was time. Even though there was so much more to say…I didn’t need to say it. And, I am changed! And, it is good!
So, now… I will give it up, (the Sketchbook, the words embedded in the layers of art, the thoughts, the tears that bled the ink) and let it go. I’m shipping this book out to NY tomorrow. It will go on tour throughout the country. After the tour, it will be forever housed in the Brooklyn Art Library. I will never feel the pages again.
I’ve committed myself to visiting it, and the 28,834 other participants books while on tour in Washington, DC. April 11-30. We’ll see…
It is time. And I have finally LET IT GO! Literally!
(Written in 2010)